James Allen Hanrahan
Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
If you’ve ever had a man tell you he’s not ready to commit, then you know how very frustrating it is.
Investing your time and feelings in a guy and then hearing about his cold feet and plans to break up with you can have you swearing off men altogether. But before you do that, try using these two magic words.
First, I want to say that you may be tempted to argue with him and explain that the reasons he’s not ready aren’t valid.
Don’t do that.
Telling him or explaining to him just makes you his mom.
Men are not turned on by their mothers.
This is how to get your ex back. Whenever you hear an excuse that sounds like utter nonsense, say the magic words: I understand.
Then say nothing else. After the pregnant pause, he will go on to elaborate even more trivial reasons that will infuriate you and goad you into an argument.
Again, instead of biting say, “I understand”.
This will lead him to one simple conclusion: “She understands me.”
I’m not saying you agree with him. I’m saying that everyone has the right to be, feel, think and share their way.
Although you may not agree with him by saying ‘I understand,’ you’re acknowledge his right to his decision.
At this point, he may offer you a lesser deal. For example: “We can still hang out.” At which point, say, “I appreciate that you still want to hang out with me. However, I don’t feel comfortable with that. I like/love you but not more than myself.”
He will walk away, not knowing what to say. This isn’t a problem because men fall in love when they’re away from you. Resist the urge to call him or text him and let him come to you.
If you have the patience to wait until he reaches out to you, then the next time you hear from him, he will be ready to be with you because it’s his idea.
If not, then he’s not your man.
James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles.